maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
