sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize