Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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