we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
