I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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