is your mom at the bar?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
