Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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