Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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