I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
