you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
