Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The feeling are messing with the penis
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
