dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
