Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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