Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
