boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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