my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
