you traded sex for a burrito?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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