I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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