I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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