stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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