Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
