I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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