I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
