i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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