bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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