Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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