He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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