Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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