My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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