I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
