Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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