he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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