Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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