guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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