so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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