You're my little dorito
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
