do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
