we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
