does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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