doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize