ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
