You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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