its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
