please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
