Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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