its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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