I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
