It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
