i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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