Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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