i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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