Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
