Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
