I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
