this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
