Non-Jews are for practice
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize