Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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