He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
