That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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