you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
