Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
