so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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