Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
