I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
