Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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