You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
