dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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