farters have to be the big spoon...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
