With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
