I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
