she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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